Herpy.nu is now closed and archived - will be replaced by something new and better.

Herpy has had a good 13 year run and will never be forgotten for those of us who experienced it. Sadly the site is today unappealing and is no longer fit for the audience of 2018. The gallery will remain operational until further notice. You can follow me on Twitter for further developments. We also have a Discord server which has become the heart of the community. If you wish to join it, send me a PM over Twitter.

Kind regards,
Valcyrie

The Awkard Diary

A place for hangout, chill and easy discussion.
User avatar
Valcyrie
Site Admin
Posts: 368
Joined: July 6th, 2016, 12:55 am
Gender: Female
Age: 666
Location: Uppsala, Sweden
I am a: Author
Commissions: Temporarily closed
Contact:
Status: Offline

The Awkard Diary

Post by Valcyrie » July 18th, 2016, 11:24 pm

So, a revival from old Herpy. This is a thread where we share awkard and funny moments from our everyday lives to amuse the rest of the community. Its a sort of "TIL (Today I Learned)" or "FML (Fuck My Life)" style. Let me begin:

Today I learned, that listening to metal in the shower isnt the best idea. Water and shampoo everywhere. Because this ness couldnt resist windmilling when a good song came on <.-.<

(For those of you unfamiliar with metal culture, this is windmilling:)
Image
Image
Avatar by Semura. Signature by me and Ember.

User avatar
Werecrocodile
Posts: 99
Joined: July 18th, 2016, 12:05 am
Gender: Male
Age: 23
Location: 29.9511° N, 90.0715° W
Status: Offline

Re: The Awkard Diary

Post by Werecrocodile » July 18th, 2016, 11:47 pm

Today I learned to not keep 2 undetermined gender lizard together, one is now gravid , on another note yay eggs!
Wenn dein deutsch wie ich dich das liest kannst du Verwenden Sie kein Google Translate. Verlierer
Hidden Content
This board requires you to be registered and logged-in to view hidden content.

Mallis
Posts: 38
Joined: July 6th, 2016, 4:16 am
Gender: Female
I am a: Artist
Status: Offline

Re: The Awkard Diary

Post by Mallis » July 18th, 2016, 11:52 pm

Not long ago I left my place to visit and spend the night at family home. I was really tired when leaving my place and I remember while driving, thinking "What- what's up with my shoe?" Of course I am driving at night, didn't think to look down at my feet. So I am chilling when it just turns midnight I get call from my friend. "Hey Mal, do you know where my shoe is?" I was all tired, about to sleep "what do you mean? I don't know where it is." I was annoyed he would call about that. "Oh maybe the dog got at it, as I see one of your black shoes is missing too..." I stopped for a moment "Hang on" and went to look. *Sighs in disbelief* I had slipped on one of his shoes and one of my own. Needless to say I was pretty disappointed with myself "Really? Mal?!" Had to make the venture back home and just crashed in bed.

Definitely not one of my brightest moments to say the least.

User avatar
Werecrocodile
Posts: 99
Joined: July 18th, 2016, 12:05 am
Gender: Male
Age: 23
Location: 29.9511° N, 90.0715° W
Status: Offline

Re: The Awkard Diary

Post by Werecrocodile » July 20th, 2016, 5:10 am

Today I learned not to fnuck with a bearded dragon while he is in his bath , rip unscathed pinky finger
Wenn dein deutsch wie ich dich das liest kannst du Verwenden Sie kein Google Translate. Verlierer
Hidden Content
This board requires you to be registered and logged-in to view hidden content.

User avatar
Rasalom
Posts: 243
Joined: July 17th, 2016, 2:23 pm
Gender: Male
Age: 35
Location: PL
I am a: Author
Status: Offline

Re: The Awkard Diary

Post by Rasalom » July 23rd, 2016, 6:05 am

Today I've learned not to have breakfast before doing heavy lifting. The staircase to my apartment will never look the same...

In other news:
When you're replacing your CPU, make damn sure the fan is pluged to the power source. It turns out that AMD is making rather heat-resistant processors... I mean, I've installed W7, drivers for all of the devices, DirectX, etc... Only when I started to install K-Lite I noticed: <sniff-sniff> "something's burning..."
Don't kill the edge and become like the rest.
Don't lose the faith that made you who you are
Don't kill the edge that manifests inside
This world is mine; it's where my thoughts collide...

Frostyflight
Posts: 6
Joined: July 7th, 2016, 4:34 am
Status: Offline

Re: The Awkard Diary

Post by Frostyflight » July 23rd, 2016, 7:56 am

Was building a computer for my neighbors I put the CPU in and forgot to use the lever to latch it and when I flipped it up to get at the screws on the back of the motherboard it fell out pins landed pins first. I had to straighten the pins with an exacto knife luckily the damned thing still worked and nobody saw.

User avatar
Valcyrie
Site Admin
Posts: 368
Joined: July 6th, 2016, 12:55 am
Gender: Female
Age: 666
Location: Uppsala, Sweden
I am a: Author
Commissions: Temporarily closed
Contact:
Status: Offline

Re: The Awkard Diary

Post by Valcyrie » August 20th, 2016, 11:27 pm

So on another community where Im a member we have a discussion group called "amusing shagmails" (shagmail being -mostly- online messages sent to someone with the intent of having sex with said person). And some are worse than others. Today, a gay guy uploaded this:
Weirdo wrote:Come on
u understand im only joking wit u
for real u r so fuking sexy and manliness I die
I would wish for if I could see even in your picture you beautiful arabic circumsized king
drop by sometime if you are in Stockholm [Vals remark: Swedens capital] you dont need fucking or having sex
im bi passive n older n not at all your style you are hot n young
i can offer you a sleepover in clean n fresh environment is all
have a good one
Cool Gay Guy wrote:Hahaha whaaat the fuuck?
Weirdo wrote:Have I been young sweet girl you would have become dad to my kids
god alla iehmik 3ala hal wejh soubhan men sawar
iberni erak ma ahlak
one would use your poo toothpaste and lick your ass like hell
i am yours
dotn write back dont want comment i know you're not mine plus you are far from me but kiss on penis just
Image
Avatar by Semura. Signature by me and Ember.

User avatar
Acostor
Posts: 82
Joined: September 21st, 2016, 8:39 am
Gender: Male
Age: 21
Location: Fort Myers, Florida
Status: Offline

Re: The Awkard Diary

Post by Acostor » September 22nd, 2016, 6:39 pm

A few months ago I went on a cruise. And they were doing a game show, where they would have you do strange things. So they called up the tallest and shortest guy in a group, me being the shortest I decided to go. It was all fine until they told us we had to dance dirty with the other guy. So I got behind him and for some reason he fell forward, so then it looked like I was banging him in front of a ton of people. It was hilarious and awkward :oops: .
You may not realize how much you love something until you lose it. So if you find it, never let go.

Steam account: http://steamcommunity.com/profiles/76561198254747403/

User avatar
Koatliqua
Posts: 78
Joined: September 13th, 2016, 10:27 pm
Gender: Female
Location: England
I am a: Author
Commissions: Open
Status: Offline

Re: The Awkard Diary

Post by Koatliqua » September 22nd, 2016, 7:12 pm

Some maintenance men came into our flat and all my underwear was drying on the clothes rack. Also, some erotic drawings were on the walls, which my partner had to quickly pull down.
Like dew or a flash of lightning;
Thus we shall perceive them.


Check out my blog! ~ https://jasminesgarage.wordpress.com/

User avatar
Switchstart
Posts: 38
Joined: October 14th, 2016, 12:11 pm
Gender: Male
Age: 24
Location: New Zealand
I am a: Lurker
Status: Offline

Re: The Awkard Diary

Post by Switchstart » October 16th, 2016, 4:10 pm

Last week I went to the supermarket not far from where I live to get something that I thought was on special that I spotted a few days prior and it wasn't until I got to the checkout to pay for it that I was told that it was a club discount and I didn't have the club card, I didnt have a club card because I didn't own one.

One other thing that happened back in April was putting a power cord on one of my street lamps just after I got it, all went well until I put the plug in the socket and nothing happened. turns out I forgot to put the fuse back in which had to be removed to get at one of the terminals for the power cord.

User avatar
Valcyrie
Site Admin
Posts: 368
Joined: July 6th, 2016, 12:55 am
Gender: Female
Age: 666
Location: Uppsala, Sweden
I am a: Author
Commissions: Temporarily closed
Contact:
Status: Offline

Re: The Awkard Diary

Post by Valcyrie » November 6th, 2016, 5:03 pm

Sometimes people wonder: Am Val really such a terrible person, a dank memer with a terrible sense of humor? Is that just a chatroom personality? Well, let this excerpt from a actual IRL conversation explain it to you:

Friend of Val: *Babbles about how harsh and tough life can be.*

Val: Exactly, just like a assfuck. And not one of those sexy assfucks with a handsome guy either, but one of those awkward moments, you know, you've met a really cute sub guy and you're just about to push it [read: strapon] in when you notice that he has some dried poop in the buttcrack. Like that. And you sort of:
- Oh, you, uhm, you know, eh, you have like, you have like some dried poop there in your buttcrack, ya'know? ... left in the buttcrack ya'know?
- Oh no! Shit, how awkward! Fuck... can I use your shower?
- You're gonna flush poop in my shower?!
- Yeah, but, I mean no, sorry! Eh... perhaps I should go now.
But then you feel kind of bad for him because you dont want to have him walk home with poop between his buttox, so you're like:
- Or well, I mean its cool, if you just make sure to clean up well after yourself.
- Yes of course! Thanks a million!
And he gets into the shower while I myself stand outside thinking about what towel he will use afterwards, not to mention he does get completely clean first. Awkward and very disturbing.

Friend if Val after a few moments of silence: ... Val, what the actual fuck kind of comparison even was that?!

Val: It's your own fault for dating a Jester! Vóilá! *Splays arms and legs in all different directions and smiles sheepishly.*
Image
Avatar by Semura. Signature by me and Ember.

User avatar
Xaithis
Posts: 31
Joined: September 24th, 2016, 11:19 am
Gender: Male
Location: Old York
I am a: Author
Status: Offline

Re: The Awkard Diary

Post by Xaithis » November 7th, 2016, 10:37 pm

Hm, I learned that duelling people and practising sword forms in the middle of the street causes the neighbors and builders across the road to look very scared/concerned.
Typical Session...
PC - "I run towards the lasers!"
Me (DM) - <starts finding a new character sheet>

Post Reply